omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
