Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
