and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
