no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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