it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
