How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
