she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
