It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
