dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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