Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
So much Jack, so little girl.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
