Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
