After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
