I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I didn't notice because vodka
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
