I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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