her vagine was all disorganized.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
