apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
