just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
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