i just google imaged poop.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
