Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Is it because I queefed?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
