she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just forgot I was standing up.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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