You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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