I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
