what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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