He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Randomize
