"it" just moved
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
