Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
