He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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