I want to stick my p in your. b.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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