hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
