i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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