I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
