I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Randomize