she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
