Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
