For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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