we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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