Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
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