$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
