But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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