I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
