I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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