i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Ladies don't puke and tell
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
