nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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