my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
