I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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