needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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