He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
