Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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