He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
