Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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