So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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