I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
