Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
