I want to stick my p in your. b.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
