No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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