what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
