on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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