Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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