I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
