I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
