i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
