Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Of course I have a pirate flag
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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