Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize