he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
As shirtless as possible
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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