I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
