you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
we're making bets on your personal life
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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