Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
